Spring!

Sping cleaning my apartment brings up thoughts of change. Leaves are starting to grow. Animals are mating again. I know this firsthand as I saw two pidgeons last Saturday totally getting it on. Try not to be jealous!

My new outlook on life is sunny! It must be the new addition of Vitamin D to my blood. I must say though that with the world in the bleak condition it is today, I feel like we are on the brink of something great. Our world is realizing that corporate greed isn’t the way of the future. It is what is sucking the life out and turning our prosperous, beautiful world into a trash can. In the past it was just materials that were used and disposed. Now, it is our lives and families. Now more than ever is not the time to sit back and hope that the people in power will fix what they have messed up. We need to step up and change the world, fight for what we believe in. I believe in the environment and our world. The physical land that we live on and the animals and smaller creatures that we depend on and share our space. Have you ever walked into a supermarket, seen the organic label and just purchased the product because you assumed it was healthier for you. What about “cage free”? Have we ever bothered to actually see if this is true. We just trust the USDA? Can they completely regulate OFPA or do these farms only pretend to be following the regulations and because of corporate greed completely change their practice when the USDA turns their back? The underlying problem here is that we have it in our mind that factories and assembly lines are the tools for good industry. Maybe it was during the industrial revolution when we needed products fast, but these machines are obsolete now. Our entire world has become a product. Even being “green” is now a product. IT KILLS ME!!!!!!! Where are the values of not wanting to strip the earth of ever vital mineral and process it to make more and more that will just be landfilled in a year. No longer are our belongings made to last. They are made cheaply so they fall apart forcing us to buy more enabling the corporate greed that plagues our world. Why can’t we change? Are we all so trapped in this cycle that we can’t step off this hamster wheel. Actually it is quite the opposite. We choose not to change. No one admits that our problem is easy to fix. Lets just not make that much stuff. Our economy may not make money on consumer goods, but can’t we make money other ways. I haven’t yet figured out how to completely solve this, but maybe you can. If you are reading this, think about ways for us to change this raping of our earth. Will it ever end or will we be forced to move into space and use the earth as our toilet. I just want people to start changing their thoughts. Why not recycle. Third world countries use the little that they have over and over again because they cannot afford the luxury of brand new goods. How can a country with so much wealth and intellect not be the leaders and really show the world where our future is. How can we not contribute to the greater good of this planet, our home. Luckily everything, I believe, can change. Cycles can be broken and habits with effort can change. We can change! Only we have the power to make our world a better place. LET’S DO IT!!!

Words of Wisdom!

The words of Thelonious Monk in 1960. I am actually obsessed with these two lines:

“What you don’t play can be more important than what you do play.” Life’s hesitations and restraints are what make our lives better. Its what we don’t say or do that can sometimes be the most important decisions of our lives. Restraint is a good think as over-indulgence breeds gluttony and abuse. 

“Whatever you think can’t be done, someone will come along and do it.” Never think that it can’t be done; dream big and do it. Don’t just find excuses for why it can’t be done but actually get off your lazy butt and put your thoughts into actions. I am thinking this is more of a pep talk than advice to my readers, but if we all were more doers than talkers, this world would be better place! Its easy to talk big but very few people actually do what they say. But ever worse than that are the people who construct these lavish excuses as to why it can’t be done, tricking themselves when really the only excuse is their own laziness. If you want something bad enough you should find a way to make it happen!

Facebook?

When did everyone join facebook, and I mean EVERYONE? I thought it was only limited to college students until my friend’s grandmother was up to date on who was “poking” whom. Is it just me who thinks this obsession has become a little crazy, much surpassing the insanity on MySpace, that had to cancel accounts of, was it 22,000 registered sex offenders?… I think maybe. What is the world coming to? People are spending their entire days glued to their profiles, constantly updated on the lives of hundreds of “friends” everywhere. No, I am not kidding. I watch it firsthand as the guy next to me at work spends about half of his day “networking” on the site. Instead of living our lives, we are spending our days watching other people live theirs, and we aren’t mad that Facebook is robbing us of our time. Instead, we enjoy it so much that we actually brag about it to friends. (I use “we” here loosely as I am obviously not a member of this “exclusive” club.) Worst of all is that I am actually shunned from society for not jumping on the bandwagon. You might as well hang a scarlet letter from my neck and stone me. “Here stands the girl who didn’t have a Facebook account. How does she expect to breathe knowing she cannot keep in contact with every person she has ever come in contact with?” Please, stone me dead. For I would rather live my old fashioned life. There are evil intentions with facebook. People are keeping track of your life, and on the other hand people trying to impress their false admirers with deceitful pictures. Not only is it false advertising, but it’s like a giant high school popularity contest. “That picture is so facebook quality!” If I hear that phrase again, I am going to rip my ears off in fear of what the world is coming to. Everyone puts so much thought into their page making sure it is a good respresentation of the person they want to be. By “everyone” I mean “most people” because there are the few out there who are able to keep a profile and distance themselves from the insanity that those eight letters signify. In the end, I guess I just feel that if someone really cares about me, they will go out of their way to find me. Maybe I am a little bit of a romantic here. If I meet someone in a serendipitous moment, fate will bring us together. It won’t be as easy as a quick search on facebook. They will have to do some hunting before they find their prey. Yesterday, I was reading CNN.com and it said that facebook might go bankrupt. Then, I woke up. … Actually I never woke up. I wasn’t dreaming, but I was sure pinching myself. And I thought that the economic distress of this country was a bad thing, but if its enough to bring down that giant, I will be a happy person, as long as I don’t lose my job in the process. I am knocking on wood right now.

Chinese New Year

In the spirit of the Chinese New Year, I decided to research a little about my year. The results astonished me and actually were completely in line with my personality. So for all of you who want to know me, this is me:

Attributes

Tiger people are difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them. They are tempestuous yet calm, warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous in the face of danger yet yielding, soft and mysterious. They enjoy a life full of challenges and unexpected events, like visiting unusual places and meeting interesting or outstanding people. Other people in their area are easily attracted by the tiger’s enthusiasm and way of life. Tigers find pleasure in the unpredictable, and while other people would rather make a backward step, they are not afraid to explore the new and unusual. But it is not that simple to interest the Tiger. What they really need is first-hand experience. Usually open and frank, these people are likely to withdraw and can be aggressive when trapped. As soon as the Tiger has regained their sense of security their confidence also returns, enabling them to set out once more. These people usually tend to trust their instincts, though there is another side of their personality, which assesses situations thoughtfully before they launch any actions. Their friends usually secretly admire their determination and optimism, though sometimes may find it complicated to share the Tiger’s enthusiasm and can be pushed away and left behind. Although Tigers can be courageous and generous friends, if they are not able to achieve what they want, they can be inflexible and self-centered. So if your friend was born in the year of the Tiger, there will be highs and lows in your friendship, but the friendship itself will remain firm.

Ideal jobs for tigers include entrepreneur, military officer, politician, musician, writer, poet, artist, theater director, biological and environmental engineer, stockbroker, athlete, film star, trade union leader, company director, stunt person, explorer, and lawyer.

Positive Traits	Independent, brave, confident, dynamic, intense, energetic, sacrificing, faithful, attractive, intellectual
Negative Traits	Moody, reckless, hot-headed, selfish, impatient, impulsive, opinionated, rebellious

The Tiger is said to be lucky vivid, lively and engaging. Another attribute of the Tiger is his incredible bravery, evidenced in his willingness to engage in battle or his undying courage. Maybe he’s so brave because he is so lucky. But the Chinese say a Tiger having a Tiger in the house is the very best protection against the evils of fire, burglary.

Years of the Tiger

THE SIGN OF THE TIGER

Tigers do not find worth in power or money. They will be completely honest about how they feel and expect the same of you. On the other hand, they seek approval from peers and family. Generally, because of their charming personalities Tigers are well liked. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Still, like all felines, Tigers always land on their feet, ready for their next act in life, pursuing it with unyielding energy and hunting it infallibly.

 

Tigers are also incorrigibly competitive – they simply cannot pass up a challenge, especially when honor is at stake, or they are protecting those they love. Tigers are unpredictable and it would be unwise to underestimate their reactions. They may appear cool, but they have the Big Cat’s instincts to pounce at a moment’s warning. Natural leaders, they have a strong sense of their own dignity, and if they find

themselves in the ranks, they can be stubborn and obstinate. In positions of power they can be difficult though stimulating bosses. Tigers are intelligent, alert, and farsighted. They have their fingers on the pulse. Good strategists and tacticians, they often have a hidden agenda. As long as they do not risk their luck too often, and keep their restless nature under control, their tactics usually pay off in life.

TIGER FACTS:

People born in the year of the Tiger share certain characteristics. The Tiger sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual’s personality. Following are features associated with the sign of the Tiger.

CHARACTERISTICS

Courage, Vehemence, Self-Reliance, Friendliness, Hopefulness, Resilience, Vanity, Disregard

THE FIRE TIGER 1926 AND 1986

Eccentric and dramatic, Fire Tigers are aglow with passion and verve. They are outgoing, expressive and look on the bright side of things. They have the Tiger’s natural ability to lead others and are able to excite others simply with their own gift of enthusiasm. They can be funny and have great senses of humor. Tigers are powerful speakers and have the ability to command and persuade crowds through speech. Their own seemingly endless supply of energy can make them appear a bit dramatic, and it may make them more sensitive to cautious or down-to-earth approaches in others.

HEALTH AND HOME

HEALTH

Tigers tackle everything in their lives in brief bursts of energy, collapsing afterwards in a heap of exhaustion. Normally they are soon back to full strength, but their approach can cause their long-term health to suffer. They should take it a little easier and learn to pace themselves to keep active longer and to prevent early burnout. They are blessed with flexibility and recover quickly from illness or pain. They owe it to themselves to relax a little. Along with the fitness of their long-term health, Tigers must be aware of how they react to and are affected by the consequences of their tempers. A Tiger’s meanest enemy is the damage he can inflict upon himself in the midst of a temper tantrum.

 

AT HOME WITH THE TIGER

 

Tigers take pride in being different than others and generally illustrate their originality best in their homes. Tigers can utilize their atmosphere with color and light. A Tiger’s home will be filled with exotic treasures from trips past and will include items such as Tibetan prayer mats or African carvings, confirming their desire to travel to distant places.

 

CAREER AND FINANCE

THE TIGER ON THE JOB

A quickness and an alert intelligence make Tigers fast learners. Tigers need a challenge. Add this to them being easily bored and it explains why Tigers tend to change careers more often than other Chinese Animals. Some Tigers don’t change their occupations frequently enough and thus tend to juggle jobs all at the same time. Most Tigers are natural born leaders who perform best knowing they are working towards positions of power and influence.

MONEY AND THE TIGER

Tigers depend on luck. They like to spend money, and also to share it. They can be quite impulsive spenders because they know they can always make more. Somehow, as luck would have it, they discover the end of the rainbow just before complete bankruptcy. They are willing to lose a fortune in their lifetime, if it means they will wind up with two.

THE TIGER ON VACATION

Tigers like to live on the edge, to travel long distances conquering thrills and fears along the way. Never the homebody, Tigers prefer activity and excitement to relaxing days by the ocean reading a good book. They leave on a whim and return when they are ready to plan their next vacation. Action-filled getaways are sure to get a Tiger away for a long time!

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES

Tigers, born under the third Animal sign of the Chinese Zodiac, have the ability to lift the spirits of even the most depressed or lonesome individual they meet. Because of that attitude, Tigers have no problem making new friends. Actually, a Tiger person without a friend is quite miserable and sad. Like the Dragon, the Monkey, and the Rat, Tigers are most comfortable surrounded by friends and family.

As friends, Tigers are exceptionally warm and incredibly generous with their time, attention and money. Friends are always welcome in a Tiger’s home and will most often be greeted with a cup of coffee, an ear, a tissue, an open mind and an open wallet. Few friends could be as caring and affectionate, as quirky and surprising, or as genuinely interested as the Tiger.

LEONINE TIGER

This Tiger expects the respect he believes he deserves. He works hard for his status and position and commands a certain presence when he enters a room.

Advice for the New Year

“Bob Sweeney: There was a moment… when I used to blame everything and everyone… for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn’t get no answers ’cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.

Derek Vinyard: Like what?

Bob Sweeney: Has anything you’ve done made your life better?”

~American History X

Remember: only YOU have the power to change your life. Your future is entirely based on your choices. Don’t look at your life years from now and blame everyone for the mistakes that you made and the path that you chose. If you don’t like the path you are on, forge a new one. God gave us the power to make our own happiness in life. Fight to better your life. Blaming gives us no answers, no solution.

And everyone go out and rent American History X!

The New Year and Grandmother’s Fur

Doesn’t this title create intrigue. The New Years sparks so much self reflection that January can be a scary time for people everywhere. Last year was the craziest year of my life. I have never followed my heart so spontaneously, and I am glad I did. Now I am in a better place than I ever have been. NYC feels like home. It has taken four years of me trying to control my every move that I never realized my heart’s desire to be spontaneous. Scheduled events were no fun for me because somehow my mind already had an idea of a perfect experience that was always better than the night turned out to be. Now, the random Wednesday night spent dancing at Santos is more fun than the planned night out at the Gansevoort Hotel. I am slowly finding myself in this world. In a city where you can be a chameleon, anything, anytime, and tomorrow something totally different, I just want to be me. Its enough trouble trying to be at one with my soul instead of fighting what gives me peace of mind. There is an endless supply or surprises awaiting me around the corner. Christmas made me realize how much I don’t belong back in the OC. I wish my family would leave there, but they never will relocate. They should follow their heart even if it takes them to the most obscure little town in England. The best gift of Christmas apart from the time spent with friends and family which is always paramount is my grandmother’s old mink coat. In beautiful condition this coat is my newest prized posession taking me back to times when I was seven and would wear it around the house as most girl’s wear their mothers high heels. No wonder the coat feels so short now. I was not 4 feet tall when I last danced around the living room decorated in her fur. The coat brings back fond memories of my grandmother, baking cookies in her kitchen and being forced to finish one piece of broccoli in order to be granted any freedom. If I ever forget these times, I just have to open the coat to see her name embroidered across the lining. I have already sported the coat all over NYC. I just hope PETA doesn’t pop out from some corner and douse me in red paint ruining the beauty of the poor animal and the memory of my grandmother. Thanks go out to my trusting mother who reluctantly parted with the heirloom.

The New Year: January has brought a new peace of mind and a hunger to explore my new home. Unfortunately that requires a surplus of cash which I am quite lacking right now. My solution to the problem is to find an extra job filling the vacancies in my schedule but still allowing me plenty of time to enjoy the perks of living in the city. Here’s to hoping there are still jobs with the thousands of New Yorkers that have been laid off and in search of any work. Not only is the money a perk, but the added bonus of meeting new people is an incentive. Working in an office is a good gig, but I get stir crazy only doing one thing. Am I crazy? Yes, but seriously everyone who knows me, knows that I get bored easily. Without TV or Facebook, I don’t really have anything to pass time, or as I say, waste time.

I also wanted to share this great new site I discovered. You can send emails anonymously to anyone in the future (at least 90 days). Send a birthday email so you don’t forget, or a reminder to your future self. I have already sent three with small reminders for my life, like not to spend money and get your ass out and get another job. Visit it and explore the possibilities: http://futureme.org/

I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions, but this year I decided to make one:

1) Learn French fluently, I finally need to master this beautiful language so here’s so hours of podcasts and classes in the new year.

Contentment

Why do so many of us strive for happiness in our lives? Happiness is always elusive and based on the nerve impulses in your brain that are sent through your neurotransmitters. Contentment or peace of mind is permanent. You could be happy or sad and still have that contentment with your life. So why does everyone strive to be happy when being happy doesn’t necessarily mean you are content. I don’t know if I am explaining myself well, but what I am trying to say is that this holiday season, as many New Year’s Resolutions are made, I encourage more people to be content, to find their own peace of mind. A strength that, no matter what comes along to jar your life, stays rooted. Along with this contentment comes a peace of mind that creates a backbone to existence. The soul is able to be true to itself, as the masks are torn away. I had that peace of mind but I lost it, and it has taken me over a year to recapture what I let slip away. Happiness comes and goes as does sadness. Once you realize your core is content, whatever blows come your way, you are able to face it all, and still come out as yourself. So for the New Year, find your own peace of mind, because it is the secret to a long and yes, happy, life.

The Power of Dickens

My new library card combined with the lack of television has reinvented classic forms of amusement. The selection available to me is making it easier to make a dent in the reading list that never seems to stop growing. There are many great books out there with so many great thoughts that it is nice to have a building where I can go and pick them up for free. My latest endeavor finds me back to my favorite author, Charles Dickens, the man who is slowly becoming my muse. This time the book is “A Christmas Carol.” Nothing could be more fitting for the season than a book on giving and joy, but the books delves deeper into human nature that Donald Duck ever did in the disney remake. Inspired by Dickens’ thoughts, I wanted to share his brilliance with my ever-dwindling number of readers. 

“I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard. I girded it on my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” ~The Ghost of Jacob Marley

“Man, if man you be in heart, not adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered what the surplus is, and where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man’s child. Oh God, to hear the insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust.” ~The Ghost of Christmas Present

“There are some upon this earth of yours who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that and charge their doing on themselves, not us.” ~Ghost of Christmas Present

Finally…

 

So after much neglect to my blog and my writing, I am back in full force with some much anticipated pictures of my pretty much completed apartment. My weekend was spend glossing my floors, a process much trickier than it would seem especially since the polyurethane gives off an odor comparable to bus fumes. Certainly more than a couple brain cells were sentenced to death after three days spend shellacking. But hey, a good night out probably has the same effect. Let’s just hope I still have a few brain cells leftover to throw a party and produce little baby brain cells.

Anyways, it being 37 degrees outside and raining, I thought I would finally take some pictures. They turned out a little grainy because of the lack of light, so sorry. Come a bright sunny day, I might take some replacements, but until then, these will just have to make due.

I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving day was good, and that Black Friday was better than the poor dude’s who got trampled to death at a Walmart at 5AM. True story!!! He was pushed down and trampled by the swarm of angry shoppers who had lined up since 9PM on Thanksgiving night. I guess all of the tryptophan wasn’t enough to stop the mob from forming. Doesn’t this seem more like a South Park episode than real life. “Kenny, working for Walmart to make some extra cash, goes to open the door and the angry mob of South Park citizens trample him as they rush to do their holiday shopping.” I am seriously in shock. When did shopping result in death? and not by someone shooting someone over a blouse, but by running someone over without the aid of a motor vehicle? What is the world coming too? Please someone tell me I am not overreacting? But out of all of the crime out there, this one seems to be the worse. Women acting like raging bulls or sheep and plowing over this poor employee who was trying to open the doors for them so they could buy Christmas presents for their family. Will this be shock enough to force people to think like humans now? We have brains, can we be civilized human beings and not behave like animals? Are we up to this task?

Truthfully, I don’t think we are, and I don’t know if that is the pessimist in me, but I feel like the world is turning gray. As humans, we are more of a parisite to this earth than the animals we share it with. While they only take what they need, we take far more than our share and then expect everything else to go without. Not only are we living a disposible lifestyle where everything has a lifespan of about 1 year in our home, but we our waste is the most toxic of all. The crap that we produce is no longer organic. It fills these holes in the earth called dumps, which are just giant toilets, and we think its ok. “Don’t litter.” “Throw it in the trash.” But that is no better than just throwing it on the streets. Every trash can fills our earth with more and more of our toxic waste. Yet, we wonder why animals are becoming extinct, why the ice is slowly melting, why polar bears are loosing their homes? We watch shows like Planet Earth and think “wow the world is beautiful.” We don’t realize that we are ruining it. We are taking our planet and literally crapping all over it. Do we not understand that this is our only home. When earth dissappears so do we, and yes most of us now will probably be dead by then, but the future will not be and that little polar bear, we watched wrestle with his brother on Planet Earth will not even have grand kids, because they will have no place to live. I am afraid of our future. I am afraid of the mess that we have brought upon the earth. Instead of mutualism, we are the best example of parasitism in this twisted symbiosis. God created us to love earth and respect its beauty. He had no intention of having us strip the earth for everything that we could, only to leave a wasteland for him to clean up. I am sorry for the religious/environmental rant, but this has always bothered me, and it kills me that we don’t do anything. We just sit back and watch, and yes, I am guilty of that too. True I recycle and I don’t use plastic or use gas (my two legs can get me everywhere) and I try my hardest to do my part, but 1 out of 6 billion or even the 3 million in NYC. That percentage is too small to even make a difference. I won’t stop doing my part, but please start doing your part. Start helping the world. Lets not allow our world to come to the last leg of this irreversible path. Lets work together to stop this deadly progression, and actually give the greatest gift of all to our children, a cleaner, better, more aware world.

A Simple Kind of Life

When did life get so complicated? It seems like yesterday I was playing baseball in the backyard with dad not worrying about taxes, bills or the price of detergent. Ok, well maybe it wasn’t yesterday, but it wasn’t that long ago. I am sad to say that those days are gone. Life became complicated somewhere between playing in the sandbox to learning thermodynamics. New technology, new stuff and new consequences all seem to block my path to a simple life. Some people can handle the clutter that seems to be growing, but it’s a burden for me. The question that sparked these thoughts was so basic. “So when are you getting an iPhone?” one of my colleagues asked. My blunt reply of “Never, its too complicated.” startled him, but made me realize something. Life is busy enough as it is. From having to fret about paying my credit card bill, to dating, to keeping everything organized at work, I don’t need all of these extra features to demand more of my time. The applications distract me from reality, and I would rather live free from the reliance on these advancements. Everyone out there has to admit that there was that one day when your cell phone died, as mine usually does, and you found yourself first of all very angry but more importantly wondering what they did when they didn’t have a cell phone. It was less than ten years ago that I jumped on the bandwagon, so what did I do for the first 16 years without this connection to the world? We are all finding ourselves more dependent on these gadgets that have been around for less time than Britney’s comeback. Give me the classic way, and give the rest to the new generation so they can figure it out. I don’t need to explore all of the options anymore. The old fashioned-way is fine with me, after all, it has worked well for a long time. I guess these tests ended when I realized my preferences. I also came to the realization that ignorance is bliss, so the inquisitive nature that came with youth was left far behind. All this stuff is a waste of my mental space and the physical clutter it brings doesn’t fit in my dollhouse-sized apartment. What do other people think of all of this? Do they love it? Or have they really thought about it? It is doubtful most people dwell on these complications trying to put them in perspective. The mind is full of alcoves, a million infinite corners where I build enough clutter only to file away under “Ali’s theories on life” and forget about until a later date. But, the physical clutter that builds in my life is what I try to stay away from. When I was younger I thought my parents were crazy for not wanting to be bothered with learning the ease of a computer. Now, my biggest fear is becoming my reality: I am turning into them. In the end I really don’t care because this way, life stays simple. I have less stuff to have to keep track of, and less stuff adding more weight to these tired shoulders.